broken again

is my story is happening again and again , the one I wishing is my true one cheating on me , yeah is really happening over and ever , I had enough I hope I won't love anyone else anymore , my heart was torn in to piece I hate to be the one who always feel guilty cause i feel not good enough for them ,  I hate my self for become fragile person , why should I feel that kind of felt , they the one left me and me the person who need to suffer , but why I should I feel that am I not good enough? is my 33 next month but I still struggle at this kind of stuff is was so bulshit , God please may I beg you don't send me any person who doesn't have heart , please give me time to rest I am tired of being the one to broken heart .